Its important to note that my marriage is struggling and has for a number of years. We’ve just barely survived what I have dubbed “two years from hell,” during which time we lost nine family members including my father, almost lost our teenaged daughter, Hubby lost his job, and we almost lost our home to the bank. Recently we have considered separating. Our children are all independent young adults now. Why does this matter? I believe that big decisions shouldn’t be made by a married person unless their spouse is enthusiastic, too.
The idea of backyard farming has been mine for a few years now; I began planning – and taking some action –about three and a half years ago, just before our “hell” began. Although initially opposed to some of my ideas, Hubby has fully embraced them over the last few months — while on the other hand agreeing that maybe we’d be better apart — and has even taken my plans to the next level by suggesting we go “off grid” as much as possible. Perhaps this is his last ditch effort to save our relationship.
My goals are:
* Healthier food
* Learning new skills
* Increased physical activity indoors and out
* Engaging in self-reliance activities I enjoy; buying products and services locally when I don’t do it for myself
My Husband has these additional goals which would mean selling our home in the city suburbs and buying at least one acre of land in commuting distance to our full-time jobs:
* More freedom from bylaws regarding livestock, solar panels, and wind turbines
*Less dependence on a municipality for utilities
* Become mortgage free (pay cash for land and build our own small house or live in a mobile home)
Hubby says our home has only sad memories for him, so he wants to be rid of it and the mortgage. That idea is a big extreme to me, but, honestly, if we separate permanently, the house would have to be sold anyway. What do we have to lose by moving forward, together, on a plan we’re both excited about? Maybe this is the focus we need to bring us back together with passion that we once had for our children.Why do I hesitate? Hubby and I cope with stress differently. Although we share life goals, our personalities – and, therefore, the ways we go about achieving our goals – are very different. Our “two years from hell” has taken a toll on each of us. I wonder if the trials and tribulations of moving to a homesteading lifestyle on an acreage would just mean even more stress for our marriage.
Land in this area starts at $25,000 per acre with no services. Our eyes are open for appropriate land advertised online, but we may get better leads from friends who live in the counties nearby. Alternately, we may each end up in a condo of our own, me with pots of tomatoes and quail cages on the balcony and he with a solar-powered gaming system. While we see where we’ll end up calling “home”, and if that home has one or both of us living under the roof, I’m focused on my current winter activity.
I’m searching for non-gmo seeds to be ordered in January. Container gardening is my best bet, allowing for portability. I’m watching for pots I may collect, too.
I’m not a contrary person. I’m just not certain how my garden, marriage, or life, will grow from this point on.